Book Report: Oddly Normal

1. Your points of disruption--places in the book that cause you to feel uncomfortable or angry or curious.

A major point of disruption that made me rather angry was when I realized that the author and his wife still has some pretty inaccurate ideas of what it means to be gay or what being gay consists of. Joe’s passion for “prettiful” toys and Barbie dolls shouldn’t be an indicator that he is gay. It only reinforces incorrect gender stereotypes and even gender roles (that only girls should care about dolls, which is a reflection of the expectation that only women should care for children or are good with them). As the reading ‘Dude, You’re a Fag’: Adolescent Masculinity and the Fag Discourse relates, even though being called a ‘fag may have nothing to do with homosexuality, it still indicates that if males were to desire or do anything traditionally or stereotypically “female” (e.g. playing with dolls, or being terrible at a sport), that means you were ‘weaker’ or ‘incompetent’ because females are seen that way in society. Therefore stereotypes about sexuality reinforce inaccurate and harmful stereotypes about gender as well. 

Another point of disruption came from the line, “Gay kids can carry around an internal bully that makes them feel miserable whether or not someone is picking on them personally.” A lot of gay kids often already grow up in a society, environment, or culture that not only ‘wires’ them to be straight but guilts them for not being that way; it conditions them that that is the way they should be so when there is something which is at conflict with how you’ve been wired your whole life, it creates a lot of self-loathing and mental distress especially when it is related to what one is taught to believe as ‘morals’. 

2. How the stories from the book will influence your thinking about your future work as a teacher.

I fear that I may underestimate the still current presence and effects of bullying even after all that anti-bully campaigning. I know that it is still present but as a teacher of possible large-size classes, I realize I might not be able to observe as deeply, and as quickly enough the subtleties of possible ongoing bullying that could lead to drastic consequences. Therefore what I can do is to constantly emphasize kindness. Instead of telling students what to not do, it is better to teach them what to do. I can also make time to have one on one check-in sessions with my students throughout the semesters. I would also like to create and maintain an environment where my students feel like they can come talk to me anytime they want. I think this will be greatly reflected in the way I carry and express myself in my classroom. How I speak and what I say will speak more volumes than anything I could teach them.

“You don’t have to be gay to understand that your own child might feel isolated, different. Alone on the planet.” We cannot and will not have experienced many of the things that our students have experienced, but that doesn’t mean we cannot empathize with them. We all have had different experiences that produce similar feelings, so when we need to, we can tap into those experiences to better empathize with what a student might be struggling with.

3. Descriptions of the stories from the book clarify or provide examples of the ideas we have been discussing in class.

While the Schwartzes were affirming parents, they could not protect their child from the merciless school environment. Joe was initially confident after coming out. One time in the school yard he observed some boys ranking girls. He chided them for doing so and went on to rank them, which made them feel inadequate even though that was the very thing they were doing themselves to girls. Joe then added, “Are you afraid of the big gay man?”. Afterwards, the story spread and Joe attempted suicide later. 

The bullying reminds me of the reading about the case concerning Aaron Fricke versus his principal Richard B. Lynch. While the principal seemed like a well-intentioned man and wanted to protect the students from harm, and therefore felt it was ‘safer’ for the Aaron not to attend the prom with someone of the same gender. This is because a fundamental problem with bullying, discrimination, and bigotry is victim blaming. It sends a message to bigots and bullies that they can keep doing what they are doing while other should live in ‘silence’ for the sake of their ‘safety’. Were the kids in Oddly Normal disciplined for their actions? At the end of the day, parents and teachers alike, instead of telling victims that they shouldn’t have done this or that, why don’t they teach kids instead to be kind towards each other? 

Later on, Joe dyed his hair purple. His father was concerned about how that would attract even more unwarranted attention. Fortunately, when he enters high school, we see a future more tolerant. When a jock confronts him and says, “But don’t you understand — don’t you understand — that the color purple has been appropriated by the homosexuals?”, another jock comes up and tells the first jock, “He can dye his hair hot . . . pink if he wants to.” Therefore, as reiterated from above, if we ensure environments where students are empowered to be good people - to stand up for each other and to stand up for what’s right, our young people can then focus on the important things instead of worrying about living authentic lives and being themselves. Society is made up of people who are they way they are because of the way they were raised and taught. Therefore, when we shape the individual young lives now, we are shaping the future of our societies.